Dating apps: keep them or delete them?

I had to delete them, but it comes down to personal choice.

Dating apps don't lend themselves to intentional dating. They are conducive to mindless scrolling and superficial decision-making, due to an addictive and shallow user experience. This ultimately provides us with the illusion of being connected whilst mostly keeping us disconnected from each other, which only perpetuates the isolation many of us already experience in our highly individualistic and success-driven societies.

At the same time, they do expose us to people we wouldn't otherwise meet in real life, expanding our horizons, and occasionally leading to worthwhile and meaningful connections. I've met some genuinely good and lovely people off the apps. I've also learned lots about myself, my likes and my dislikes, and about human behavior in general. As an introvert, I find striking up a conversation with a cute stranger on the subway particularly mortifying, whereas I feel empowered to make the first move on a virtual forum specifically designed to facilitate romantic connection.

However, I've wasted a lot of time on connections that didn't go anywhere; the flakiness, (perceived) rejection, and ghosting have all taken a toll on my mental health. I may have a significantly skewed view of the dating market because of dating apps, which may not reflect my accurate prospects. All of these factors add up to contribute to a pretty pessimistic outlook on the dating world.

Are the upsides worth the very real and damaging downsides? That's a cost-benefit analysis that comes down to individual choice.

Personally, I like having options, especially as a more introverted person, but I also make it a point to balance my use of dating apps with going out and meeting people in person at social events and through mutual connections. I also make a conscious effort to put my phone away and take frequent breaks from the apps, sometimes for months at a time, especially during more social seasons like the summer.

Do I think people can make meaningful connections or meet the "love of their on the lives" (if such a thing exists) on the apps? Yes, and the stats are actually pretty good in that regard. Do I wish my love life was in the hands of profit-driven investors? Definitely not and that’s another conversation.

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